Stealing Moments


2016 was about moments ….and how we went about capturing them.

Stealing moments with God. Asking through prayer for things wanted, not always needed. Mostly requested was hope, strength, healing, and closure.

God never turned me down, not once and I found His word through His book and exposure.

Stealing moments counting pills, recounting steps from lost ground. Recreating patterns, studing test results, looking for answers only to be found…. that the regiment was working and he was on the rebound!

Gaining structure, gaining calmness, gaining a smile once hidden by confusion. Beating the illness in those moments was no longer to be an illusion.

Stealing moments on courthouse steps with hugs and tears a flowing, while waiting on the ink to dry and finally, finally knowing!

Moments with an addition that was once thought not to happen as if to only to be a lie. Not true, nothing even close but by God’s grace he joined our family and forever more, we became a  party of …four!

Stealing moments in the sun, with just a hose pipe yet they had big fun. Stealing Moments sometimes staged not every moment was always free,  but those boys though they fussed and f0ught together they would be.

Moments making it “perfection” proved to tire my soul and mind, in those moments pouring an extra cup of coffee and attempting to not get too caught up in the daily grind.

Stealing moments with my better half oh how hard that was to do, just a few moments together getting out was almost more than we could do!

Our moments though short with a tiny outing here and there; proved that our love will last forever and never question the when’s and where’s.

Stealing moments getting ready for him to go, a toddler wont stay small for long and there were things he’d need to know!

Moments crying as he learned new names and faces and counted his very first ABC’s, not too long after that he was on to his 123’s.

Stealing moments when summer had passed with new settings, new teachers and so many new rules, our big kid stepped foot into something called the “middle school!”

Moments pacing, moments circling, moments talking about what “if’s” ….moments thinking to myself, “Is he about to fall straight off the cliff?”

Stealing moments as school became success and we found that middle school was no longer a four letter word but instead more of a common ground.

Moments where meetings came and passed and his anxiety seemed smaller, almost gone – at last!

Stealing moments as I watched from afar, the cute little girl you tagged as “it” almost as quickly as you jumped out of the car! Her grandmother was not happy and looked you up and down, when the little girl got scared of you, I saw that grandma frown.

Moments are sometimes hard ones, not always sure what to say. One thing I’ve become pretty good at however is educating those that seem dismayed! This grandmother was happy to know and so encouraging of her grand, our kids played to the end and almost completely hand in hand!

Stealing moments with good morning kisses, chocolate milk and oatmeal too when finally Santa came to visit we sat down to teach the children a thing or two.

Moments sharing the true reason for the season …on a level our boys could perhaps understand. We then shared a prayer together, holding on to each others hands.

Stealing moments at the end of this year is really all that mattered …no worries about the bills, the needed hair cuts or a house all torn and tattered!

If moments weren’t made …what would we do with our days and our nights? our years would go by and time would lead us to the light. Moments to count each one as THE best, love unconditionally and try to let go of all the rest!


“First do no harm!”


I have thoughts on my mind tonight that I’d rather not have! When you read where one caregiver is taking out their own frustrations onto the child to which has a disability it becomes amazing clear that the caregiver needs to take a step back and reanalyze their thoughts on their child! Yes, I know our roles as special needs parents can be cumbersome, I’ve been on the journey for 10 years now myself and life-altering it has been! However, as a special needs parent I can also say that to ‘grow in your knowledge’ as a parent/caregiver and learn the true depth of your child’s disability and what his/her needs are, should really become an overall “tone” that you carry.

My frustration starts from the moment it is clear that this caregiver throws their child’s “bad day/weekend” into a category of “not going to let him get away with it” type behavior! As if to make a point of saying that they believe the child is in total control of his/her actions! I will stop here and say on a side note that: having a disability can sometimes give a person the wrong idea, especially a young child, that they can get away many of life’s daily irritations JUST because they have a disability ….and their momma’s said so! Ha! I know all too well that mentality ….and I work feverishly to ensure that my little Hero does not try to play the disability card. I can think back to a recent time where my little angel was getting out of the car and bumped his foot and proclaimed “I need a wheelchair, I cannot walk!” Needless to say, we had a long talk about what it means when one “needs” a wheelchair.

Another thought on this topic is that when a child with a developmental disorder that’s characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and non verbal communication and restricted and repetitive behaviors, is having a ‘bad day’ it is wise to seek out the “whys” and “what may be causing this behavior” questions rather than simply writing it off to bad behavior.Question things like: What changed today that made it hard for him/her? To assume that the child can control it and was just attempting to make the caregivers day difficult proves to be bigger ‘trouble a brewing’ down the road.

By far my biggest hurdle in accepting this person’s out of place comments is that it was done so ‘tongue and cheek’ as to amuse their audience. I totally understand the need to unwind after a difficult day of parenting but at the expense of your disabled child is not acceptable! Yes, I make reference to hardships and sometimes the oddities that come with raising a non typical child, but mostly to show the world around us that though our life is different, it is okay.

I remember the early days of not knowing our Hero’s needs. It had a lot to do with me just wanting things to get easier, I wanted my life to roll on by like everyone else’s around me! That made me mad quite frankly and I wanted a normal life, plain and simple. It was easy to get upset at the very situation that my son could not help. I had my share of those days, wanting “change” …..truth is, it was not him that needed it, it was me!

I always like that phrase “The most import days of your life are :the day you were born, and the day you find out why!” ~ Mark Twain. To me, the day I truly started to enjoy myself as a parent was not so much the day he was born, however, it was the day I quit trying to change him so much and I started to accept him instead. That was my “why” in life, it all started to make sense!

lastly, I don’t write about this frustration I saw from this fellow parent because I want to belittle them, instead I’d like to educate them as to how they are in this for the marathon, not the sprint! It takes time to raise a special needs child, you will learn this ….pace yourself. In the meantime, enjoy the ride and advocate for him ~ then you will know your “why!” I HOPE you find it for the both of you!

As humble as a heartbeat….


The Tatertot woke up last night around midnight. This is something that rarely happens with him nowadays. He didn’t need a diaper change, and he was fine except that he just really wanted to press his heart to mine and fall back to sleep. I stood there a few minutes with him in the dark, tapped his lullaby frog that always soothes him down and I rocked him back and fourth with the biggest smile on my face. I could feel his smile too! As I laid him back in the crib I thought about the need he has, (just like the Superhero’s need), for me to have a humble heart! For when I am humble it leads me to be patient and when I am both of these things, they in turn thrive!

Humble. Patient. Two words that describe the similar ways that seem to connect being a special needs parent and that of being a foster parent! No other two words can really describe these two roles. I’ve tried to insert other ways to tell how this job title works for myself and the spouse but those words are what we always come back to on a daily basis! Humble. Patient.

Our walk with each of the children we have been allowed to love has been one that has taken everything we planned (that’s such a funny word “planned”, I kid myself into thinking I “plan!”) and thrown it out the window ~ side note: maybe, just maybe that’s because I’m not in control of my life, God IS so why do I attempt to plan and control it?! It is when one decides that they need to “live there life like they want to” that those biggest curve balls seem to come flying out of nowhere, (am I right on this or what?) Thus far, the spouse and I have learned to walk as humbled as a heartbeat and each time a little more patient!

What we’ve learned in this walk, I think, is that neither myself, nor the spouse expected for the two types of parenting to run so parallel but they do, and that’s okay! Accepting the needs of the child that holds your hand is what allows for a such a greater awareness of our human spirit and that spirit speaks across the lands, regardless of a race or a region! No, we don’t live in a fairytale….and we know exactly what our struggles are daily! However, we choose to take each one for it’s own and not overlap too much of the daily “rest of the world’s” issues that seem to never change …..for the good!  Sometimes the best way to recover from anything in life is to take a step back and just reflect. That recently happened when we lost a big part of our family, our sweet labs that were the Hero’s first pets. Those two dogs were of the most kind in nature and perfect for all the children that have come into our home ~ who can resist dog kisses from not one but two big and loving labs?!! But when they were hit and didn’t survive my worry was how the Hero would handle it? He knew what had happened and at first was very angry and so was I but how do you teach your child to have a loving heart and not to always look at the bad …..if all you do is to look at the bad yourself? We had a service for our beloved pups to help the Hero to process the fact that he would not be able to see them again. It was hard, the spouse and I both wept and after we spoke, the Hero had questions….he was still angry and wanted to be mad it “the person behind the truck” and it was then that I realized that he needed to not stay angry or his heart would always just remember this hurt about his dogs and not the good times he shared with them. I told him about a fox that had been in our yard for the couple of days leading up to it and how our big dogs were probably protecting us and chasing that ol’ fox when they went into the road. Just after that the Hero seemed content and got up and gave the best, most heartfelt prayer for his dogs and he asked God to take care of them! Needless to say, the fox story which happen to be true was much better than him harboring anger for the truck driver.

Having a humble and patient walk does not mean you will not lose your cool ……I could give you countless examples of this but I’m sure you don’t have enough popcorn popped to last this read! It is just a way that always WINS!! And ….when you can remember this on your own walk, it does not matter what child or what the need ….you will do the right thing, in any setting!!!

Last, it will also teach your child (children) to walk a similar walk ….We are our children’s own best examples!

After 3 years of working on a dream that began with a request from a much younger Hero at that time to “have a brother or sister”……….

We got the news on Monday that: TATER TOT STAYS!!!! (Should be final within a few of months!)

Be humble in your walk…..